But in the light of “Athlete A” and “In the Heart of Gold” documentaries, as well as the statements of all the brave gymnasts all around the world, I decided I could no longer be silent about my own trauma. I am not so sure there is a reason for me to be proud about being a gymnast anymore. Gymnastics has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. It still is to this day. And to be honest I fear the consequences it might have on my life. But I choose to stand up and share my own story, though anonymously.

I live in Belgium and I started gymnastics at the age of 4, in a local club in my hometown. My mother did gymnastics when she was younger, so it was logical for her to sign me up for classes. Back then, elite was not as developed as it is now.

I was going once a week, then twice, then four times a week. I still vividly remember one of my coaches talking to my mom, saying I was “promising” and that I should train more to reach my potential. That’s when they decided that I would train 6 days a week for 20 hours. I was 6 or 7. 

Back then, we didn’t have schedules that allowed athletes to combine school and sports, so my routine was to go to school, do my homework in the study hall, then go to the gym until 7pm, eat, sleep, repeat. Morning trainings on Saturday became all day trainings.

I don’t exactly remember when I started hating it. What I remember is the constant yelling. The injuries we were told were not that bad. The body shaming. The weekly weighing in front of everyone. Our coach coming to the changing room during lunch breaks to see what we were eating. 

I was always the one injured. I was the muscular one, the not so flexible one. Once, I twisted my knee and had to wear a brace for a month. During one practice, one of my coaches asked me to come to him. He told me to remove the brace, that my injury was not a real one, that my teammate, who had torn her meniscus, kept training. He forced me to train on bars without the brace before allowing me to put it back on. Needless to say I was in tears at the end of practice. I thought I was weak. After all, if my teammate could train on an injured knee, surely, I could do the same?

Another time, I twisted my ankle during conditioning at the beginning of practice. I was so scared of my coaches I didn’t say a thing for almost the whole duration of practice. That is to say, until my ankle couldn’t carry me anymore. Turns out I had fractured it. I was in a cast for 4 weeks.

I wasn’t the only one that was scared and we usually joked about it. We were excited when our coach’s car wasn’t in the parking lot, we were wondering if he would show up or not. He also used to throw his flip flops at us. Dodging them became part of our trainings.

My ankles and knees were always my weakness. I had another knee injury, that prevented me from training normally for almost two years. But I was still in the gym 6 days a week. My knee hurt for weeks on; I could not even run. But I was still in the gym every day. I was constantly told I was falling behind on my teammates, that I would never be able to catch up. They were showing me charts and agendas with competition dates I had to compete at if I wanted to stay at the same level.

I remember during a training camp, we had to do layout back flips and land flat on our stomach on a mat at the end of the trampoline. At some point, I got too far and when I landed, I smacked my foot on the hard ground floor. I knew at once something was wrong. Once again, I didn’t say a thing. My teammates helped me cover it up. I was applying anti-inflammatory cream on it and a bandage every night. Until one morning, one of the coaches came to our dorm to wake us up and saw my bandaged foot. They didn’t say a thing until practice later, when they called me out in front of every one and forced me to practice on it. Once again, I was in tears.

I remember the body shaming my teammates and I had to endure. We were told we couldn’t eat this or that, no sweets, no sodas, no pizzas, but also no potatoes or pasta in the evening, even after a 4 hours practice. We were told we had to lose that much weight, that some skills were easier if we were lighter. I thought it didn’t concern me, as I was never personally called fat or told that I had to lose weight, but it still impacted me at some levels. Years after I quit gymnastics, I suffered from an eating disorder. It took me more than 2 years to get out of it, with a lot of help. I am still not sure I will ever recover completely. My relationship with food will always be difficult, as well as the negative body image I still suffer from these days. 

Little by little, I started to despise the sport that I used to love so much. I was in tears, just at the idea of going to practice. I didn’t enjoy it anymore. My mom didn’t understand it at first. I don’t think I ever told her the real reason behind it all, just that I didn’t enjoy it anymore. She tried to talk to the coaches, tried to find a solution, something that would make me go back to practice, but I was too far gone.

I didn’t walk away from the sport right away. I choose to compete at a lower division, still in the same club. For the first year, I didn’t compete, I still had that knee condition. The year after that, I got to compete again. At first, my mom couldn’t come to the competitions. She thought I didn’t belong there, that I could do better. I disagreed. But she did not know all that was happening so whose fault was that? 

But training and competing at a lower division than anyone expected me to compete at also had its very own problems. Coming from the elites, I had to win. It did not matter that I basically spent two years of my life only training bars because of my knee. I was an elite. I had to win, period. At one of the competitions, I fell and came 2^nd, and I was happy about it, given it was only my 2^nd competition in two years. But it was not enough for my coach.

For weeks, between this competition and the next, he constantly reminded me that I had failed, that I was only a silver medallist. He said it on a teasing tone, but there really was no teasing about it.

So the next competition, I won. And still, it didn’t seem fair to others. I heard the whispers, the people calling me a cheater because I was not supposed to be there. I did not belong there. I had won, I was happy, I thought I had succeeded, and yet it was still not enough.

When I reflect on my career, all I remember were the injuries. I do not think I had a year free of injuries. During a competition, I landed short on vault and injured both of my ankles. It was the first event, and I said nothing. The adrenaline kept me going. I didn’t want to let my team down. We won a medal, I was happy, my coach was happy. But by the next morning I couldn’t walk. 

Another time, I was at practice, a few weeks before another team competition. I first twisted my ankle (again!) falling on beam. I said nothing. I tried to cover it up by compensating on my other leg on floor. I ended up injuring my wrist in the process. Again I said nothing. Until we went to bars and I couldn’t put any more weight on it. I got screamed at for not telling sooner. And then I got screamed at because my team wouldn’t be able to count on me at the competition. I ended up with a cast on both my wrist and foot.

I rested, I healed and I went to physical therapy. Then I went back for another season. That is when my coach told me he wanted me to go back to a higher level. The week after that, I walked away.

It took me a long time to view all of this as abuse. I would often joke about it and try to minimize what I went through. I still feel the consequences of the injuries I suffered to this day and I wonder if my career would have been different had I talked about them right away. But at the time, the fear of being screamed at or being forced to train with those injuries was too big.

For years after I quit, I couldn’t watch gymnastics. I wanted nothing to do with it. I just thought I had grown up, that my hobbies or passions had just shifted to something else but I know now that I was just coping from the abuse I went through for years. The sport I loved so much disgusted me in the end. I saw no beauty in it, I just saw pain. 

I came back to it eventually, as a simple fan at first. I am still involved in this world on a daily basis. That’s the reason my statement is anonymous. But I do not want to be silent anymore.

I hope my statement, as anonymous as it might be, will help others and make them realise they are not alone in this and that we are stronger together.

Anonymous, from Belgium

#GymnastAlliance

To whom it may concern,

I apologise if this email is sent to the wrong person but I really don’t know who else to contact.

My daughter [Child 1] has recently moved from [CLUB 3] to [CLUB 4] and has been finding it very hard settling.  She has been extremely nervous and fearful about her new coaches (through no fault of theirs) and spent the first month or so crying during every session.  This behaviour is not normal for a 10 year old and I am concerned  she may have some psychological issues which will need to be sorted out if she is going to be able to continue gymnastics, a sport she loves.

[Child 1] has always enjoyed gymnastics.  She started when she was 4 and often talked about wanting to be a champion.  When she was 8 I realised she had outgrown her local club so sought out [ABUSIVE COACH], a former coach at [CLUB 1] who had shown an interest in [Child 1] when she was there.  I arranged a trial and she was very excited to be in the same group as [Child 2] , [Child 3]   and [Child 4] who she regularly watched on YouTube.

After just 2 months at [CLUB 2] training with [ABUSIVE COACH], [Child 1] told me she wanted to stop gymnastics.  I asked her why and she said ‘because [ABUSIVE COACH] is horrible to the other girls’.  I asked if [ABUSIVE COACH] was horrible to her but she said no, but said she was scared it would happen to her too.  She had a couple of days off during which time [ABUSIVE COACH] rang and spoke to [Child 1] and she agreed to go back.

Although I wasn’t aware at the time, there were 3 other sets of parents who were very unhappy with the way [ABUSIVE COACH] was treating the kids and brought it up to [the CLUB 2 owners].

Throughout the 20 months [Child 1] was with [ABUSIVE COACH] she talked about quitting quite often.  When asked if she would like to try another gym, she always said she could only do gymnastics if she was with [ABUSIVE COACH]. 

[Child 1] rarely told me what was going on in the gym but there have been a few occasions I have seen things for myself and have had comments from other parents regarding two other incidents.

Shortly after moving from [CLUB 2] to [CLUB 3] [Child 1] came out to me during a session crying and said she wanted to quit.  She wouldn’t give me a reason, so I told her to go back in and tell [ABUSIVE COACH] why she wanted to quit.  After speaking to [ABUSIVE COACH] she carried on with the session.

About a week later I was waiting at the gym when [Child 3]  came out of the gym crying and hopping.  I asked her what was wrong and she said she hurt her foot on the beam.  I took her into the toilets to put some cold water on her foot.  Whilst I was in the toilets [Child 3] ’s mum phoned me to ask what was going on.  She was angry as she had just got a call from [Child 3]  (not [ABUSIVE COACH]) saying she had hurt her foot and had been told by [ABUSIVE COACH] to go home and not to come back.  Soon after [Child 1] came out crying.  She said she didn’t want to do gym anymore because [ABUSIVE COACH] told her she didn’t want her in the group.  I took her back into the gym to tell [ABUSIVE COACH] she was going to quit because she couldn’t be coached by her. [ABUSIVE COACH] said she didn’t mean it she was just frustrated because [Child 1] couldn’t do her beam routine that day.   During the same beam session [Child 5]  who was only 6 at the time was also sent out crying. One by one all 5 girls in the group were sent out during that session. It was after seeing the way she treated [Child 3]  when she broke her foot  I decided [Child 1] needed a phone so she could call me if there was a problem because I couldn’t trust [ABUSIVE COACH].

A week before national finals in November [Child 1] came home and told me she had hurt her big toe at gym.  I wasn’t worried as [ABUSIVE COACH] had not mentioned it to me.  A few days later [Child 1] was still having pain from her toe and was crying during training and I told [ABUSIVE COACH] I thought she should get it checked at the hospital but [ABUSIVE COACH] said not to bother as they didn’t do anything last time she broke it.  [Child 1] trained all week and competed at nationals.  When we were at the competition Vince, [Child 4]’s dad told me what happened when she hurt her toe as he was in the gym helping [Child 4].  He said [Child 1] had smashed her toe into the floor during an exercise and stopped and sat down crying.  As [ABUSIVE COACH] did not go to see if she was OK he went onto the floor and carried her off.  After icing it he strapped it up and left her sitting at the side so he could go and help [Child 4].  He said he looked around when he heard [Child 1]’s music and saw her doing her floor routine and crying all the way through.  I took [Child 1] to get her toe looked at after the competition and she had 3 breaks on the same toe.  A Salter Harris Type 3 Fracture from June which still hadn’t healed properly and 2 breaks from the knock in November. When she broke her toe in June [ABUSIVE COACH] said in a text message –

That’s not too bad, [Child 2]  did hers right before nationals last year they heal up quick whilst teaching a vital lesson why does she need to go to fracture clinic there is nothing they can do for toes.

Well [Child 1]’s didn’t heal up quickly and still wasn’t right 5 months later.  Should a coach be giving medical advice when they obviously have no idea?

A pattern started in November 2010 and continued through to November 2011 where [Child 1] always had a stomach problem with vomiting and diarrhoea before a major competition.  She was expected to train through this and took spare leotards with her. The week before Nationals in 2010 I phoned [ABUSIVE COACH] to say the school had asked me to collect [Child 1] as she was unwell with a stomach bug.  [ABUSIVE COACH] said not to worry she would collect [Child 1] early and take her to the gym to wait for me when I finished work.  [Child 1] used to get very anxious if she didn’t go to gym as she didn’t want to get shouted at for missing a session, so I allowed her to go but collected her early. [ABUSIVE COACH] had [Child 1] training despite being unwell, and during the session [Child 1] soiled herself and was extremely embarrassed about it, especially as [ABUSIVE COACH] used this event to inform other children in the group how tough [Child 1] was and they should be more like her.

The stomach problems increased significantly after [Child 1] broke her toe the second time.  She was unwell with stomach pain during a session and she was told by [CLUB 3 management/owner] not to worry and to continue training as it’s not like she has appendicitis.  Again, I was not contacted by either the gym or the coach and I had to rely on [Child 1] to tell me what had happened.  [Child 1] was spending a lot of time in the toilet during training sessions.  The pain became worse and I took her to our doctor in December who sent her straight to hospital where she was admitted for about a week.  Of interest, this coincided with her first national squad training camp where she would go away for the weekend with [ABUSIVE COACH].  After extensive tests including an MRI scan the hospital could not find a cause for her pain and discharged her. 

During another session [Child 1] was vomiting blood in the toilets and rang to tell me.  I called [Mum 5] , [Child 5] ’s mum who I knew was waiting at the gym and asked her to see if [Child 1] was OK.   She told me she stayed in the toilets with [Child 1] until she felt a bit better.  While they were in the toilets [Child 4]  came out to see what [Child 1] was doing and [Mum 5] said to tell [ABUSIVE COACH] she was vomiting blood.  [Mum 5] took [Child 1] to the waiting area and told her to sit with her until I got there.  [Child 2]  then came out to see where [Child 1] was and she was also told to tell [ABUSIVE COACH] what had happened.  [ABUSIVE COACH] finally came out at this point and asked [Mum 5] what was going on.  [Mum 5] explained and asked if there was a medical officer who could see [Child 1], [ABUSIVE COACH] said there wasn’t and told [Child 1] to go back into the gym.  [Mum 5] let her go telling her to sit quietly when she was in there.  After they had gone in two parents from a different group commented on how cold [ABUSIVE COACH] was and lacked any compassion.  About 15 minutes later [Child 1] went running back into the toilets and told [Mum 5] she had sat down for a little while then [ABUSIVE COACH] had asked her to continue training.   The evening before [Child 1] was due to go to overnight national squad training in January she told me her stomach pain was getting really bad again and I took her back to the hospital.  Whilst she was there I was asked if anything was causing her stress as the doctor felt [Child 1] was running from something.  To top it all when I told [ABUSIVE COACH] [Child 1] was back in hospital she clearly didn’t believe me and asked if I was playing games.

I am sure there were many other problems but as I said before [Child 1] was very reluctant to tell me what was going on in the gym concerning her.   The interesting thing is that she was ok telling me when she felt someone else had been treated unfairly.  Once she told me [ABUSIVE COACH] had told [Child 3]  to take some pain killers and overdose if she wanted.  This really upset [Child 1] and I had to tell her [ABUSIVE COACH] didn’t mean it.  Another time she was horrified that [ABUSIVE COACH] had smacked [Child 2]  and admitted she didn’t know her own strength.  She again got upset when [ABUSIVE COACH] threw [Child 2]  into the pit in a fit of rage.   

There were numerous times one of the girls would be sent out to sit in the changing rooms, or sent home early or told to train in a different (baby) group.   [ABUSIVE COACH]’s tactic was to send the girls home early so the parents would be angry with them as well and they would then get into trouble twice.  [Child 1] could see all this happening and was so scared of upsetting [ABUSIVE COACH] she pushed herself through illness and pain so she would not get into trouble.  [ABUSIVE COACH] often told me [Child 1] had an incredible work ethic and was the toughest kid she knew.  She even said she would have to be careful not to burn her out as she would do anything asked of her and pushed herself to the limits.  I now know she did this through fear of [ABUSIVE COACH].

I have always expected [Child 1] to work hard and do her best in all her endeavours.  This is how she was brought up.  I believe give praise when praise is due and am tough when need be as we live in a tough world.  I do not expect my child to get special treatment but do expect her to be treated fairly. 

I had to remove [Child 1] from [CLUB 3] as they had no intention of dealing with any problems brought to them about [ABUSIVE COACH] and have admitted to always fully backing their coaches.  When during a meeting between the parents in the group, [ABUSIVE COACH] and [CLUB 3 owners/managers] I tried to discuss the way [Child 1] had been treated the day she was vomiting blood,  I got very emotional and no one wanted to listen and when I got upset I was asked to leave the club.  I was also told by [ABUSIVE COACH] I knew she was ill so it was my fault for sending her in.  I put my hands up to this as I should have not have  cared whether [ABUSIVE COACH] got upset, but [Child 1] would not let me tell her when I was upset about something because she didn’t want to get in trouble.   

As this meeting was called to discuss bullying issues I would have expected the welfare officer to be present.  Perhaps if they had been I would have been able to get my point across and not been so emotional.  I have never received any notification from [CLUB 3] that I have been kicked out and was never contacted by [CLUB 3 owners.

/managers to try to resolve any issues.  I feel they are protecting [ABUSIVE COACH] and do not have the children’s welfare at heart.   I supported [ABUSIVE COACH]’s move from [CLUB 2] to [CLUB 3] as [ABUSIVE COACH] made it sound that  the owners of CLUB 2 were only interested in getting rid of her to keep the kids and she was only stressed because of the way they treated her.  I now see they were the only ones to try to keep her in line and prevented her from bullying the girls. 

This is a text I got from [ABUSIVE COACH] on 20^th June 2011 – a few days before we left.

Dear parents, usually when I am feeling this way I would sink into myself, but mistakes from last year have told me not to do that! So I am telling you now, things are not great at the gym at the mo, I am not sure what I have done, but I am currently arch enemy number one at the gym! People have been told not to talk to me, not to work with me and much more! It is hard not to let this affect my state of mind in the gym but I am trying! So I am asking you to try to keep the girls motivated and get them to work as it will make how I’m feeling a lot better and easier! I am not telling you this to shit stir or make excuses but so you are all aware of what is happening, I don’t want to discuss it, but feel I owe you all to be honest! I am not sure at mo how is best to deal with the situation so at mo am going to keep my head down and mouth shut tactic but that doesn’t seem to be working either!!Sorry I seem to cause so many problems but believe me when I say I know I am not perfect but I am trying! Much love [ABUSIVE COACH] xxx

When [ABUSIVE COACH] left [CLUB 2] I was at work so did not go to collect [Child 1] but received a phone call from [CLUB 2 owner] the following day explaining what had happened and letting me know [Child 1] was part of [CLUB 2] and they would find a group for her to go in.  When I said we would not need a place and would go wherever [ABUSIVE COACH] went I was basically told I was not a fit parent for allowing my child to go with a coach who mistreats her. Discussions with [ABUSIVE COACH] had led me to believe her behaviours were due to being stressed at [CLUB 2] as the coaches were jealous of her success and were trying to destroy her.

On 17^th July I got another text from [ABUSIVE COACH].

Hi guys [CLUB 2] have started their smear campaign I need an email from each of you saying a couple of lines about how your kids and yourselves felt at [CLUB 2], how you felt I was treated,  how you felt about me and why you have decided to come with me please asap.   I have just sat next to my friend who was being rang by [another coach] about a job offer and all he has done is talk about me and slag me off even though she keeps saying I don’t want to discuss it.  I will forward it along with the letters from [Child 6]’s parents to be kept on record. 

[ABUSIVE COACH] has played mind games with the parents and the kids, convincing us that all her problems are from others bullying her and in the right gym she will be amazing.  Well she seems to have that gym now and they are so supportive of her she thinks she can do anything.  I have never known anyone with such a big ego who will use anyone to get where she wants to be.  And more fool [CLUB 3] for allowing her to do it.  [ABUSIVE COACH] likes to play the victim and convinces those around her she is hard done by, but the ones who are really suffering are the kids.

[Child 1]’s new coaches have informed me she has been emotionally and psychologically damaged by [ABUSIVE COACH].  She has had nightmares about [ABUSIVE COACH] since leaving, has flashbacks about being pushed off the beam and said she would never go back to her.  [Child 1] believed she could only be good if she was with [ABUSIVE COACH] as she was always told this by [ABUSIVE COACH].  [ABUSIVE COACH] would tell her that other people and coaches were rubbish and she was best off with her.  After we left [ABUSIVE COACH] phoned me to try to get [Child 1] back and told me she was the best person for [Child 1].  She admitted to telling people in the gymnastics community we had been kicked out the club and said she did it out of retribution because she was angry.  When I was going to move [Child 1] to another club in November the coach I approached refused to trial her saying she would not take [Child 1] because of all the things [ABUSIVE COACH] has done for her.   I appreciate [ABUSIVE COACH] went out of her way to help but that does not excuse the way she treated her.  I had to move [Child 1] for her own safety and welfare as no-one within the club was willing to listen or look out for the kids.

It has taken over 2 months for [Child 1] to begin to have any confidence in what she does.  She has finally stopped crying during every session but now has a headache or chest pain when she goes to training.  She says the coaches are nice but I believe she is waiting for it all to go wrong again.  She has little trust in them and is always on edge.  Even before meeting [the new coach] [Child 1] broke down in tears and said she was scared to go in because she thought she was going to be horrible.

[Child 1] has missed competing at level 2 compulsory as it was felt she would be unable to cope emotionally.  I have complete faith in the coaches at [CLUB 4]  and agree competing would have been damaging for her.   [Child 1] would benefit tremendously from a sport psychologist and hope you have access to one through BG.  Before she went to [ABUSIVE COACH], she didn’t have any issues and now has huge problems which are taking time to come to terms with and slowing her progress.  As [ABUSIVE COACH] is a BG sanctioned coach and is supported by the national squad coaches I think someone owes it to [Child 1] to help her through this.

I have been told by [ABUSIVE COACH] that Adrian Stan says she is the future of British Gymnastics and that they will invest in her and not to worry because kids come and go but good coaches are hard to find.  Sometimes you have to think why kids come and go … if you have a coach who is damaging them they will never fulfil their potential.  

A few months ago, I noticed this tweet from a senior sports psychology lecturer:

I was astonished. Here she was, a grown, highly-educated adult, yet her conditioned beliefs, moulded by an abusive and manipulative coach, who’d persuaded the child she had been that she was nothing without her coach, were still writ large on her psyche. I responded…

Her response was equally surprising

And it seems that a lot of perspectives need changing. Our current gymnastics system doesn’t so much make athletes, as it both mentally and physically breaks them. Those who survive this brutalised last-man-standing competition may be viewed as ‘the strong ones’, but they are often equally damaged or arguably even more so, than the ‘too weak’ athletes who never made it (See Ellis O’Reilly’s tragic story for just one example).

While the technical competence of coaches has arguably improved in recent decades, the understanding of wider aspects of coaching remains largely mired in an uneducated, uninformed past. Thus, overtraining and poor injury management (as short-term goals are prioritised over long-term health and welfare) result in the physical breaking of our child athletes, while their mental health is equally neglected. They, young children, are conditioned, even brutalised, to become compliant, deferential to an almost cult-like degree, and docile. The ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ school of ‘mental-strength development’ appears to dominate. Those who are born with great resilience, determination and discipline will survive longer, but these talents are certainly not developed by their training, on the contrary, gymnasts survive the training because of these traits. The longer you last in the sport the more mentally strong you are thought to be. However, with approximately 10 or more years of intensive training to endure, the vast majority of talented children will break long before the ‘finish line’.

Unfortunately, such a system may appear to work in some countries in that they consistently ‘produce’ world-class athletes.  The hidden costs however, are high and terrible. In relatively impoverished and/or oppressive countries, such as the old Eastern Bloc or China, this may be sustainable as there is a never-ending supply of children, or fodder, for the system. It doesn’t matter how many they break along the way. Some may do it for the ‘glory of the motherland’ but many others may not have the choice. In America, the ‘land of the free’, we cannot point to oppression but, a sports-and-success obsessed culture combined with the real potential of financial reward, university scholarships and celebrity may provide some motivation, but there too, the system is fed by a huge population.

What then of smaller countries? Let’s consider what has happened in Australia. Jane Allen, BG’s current CEO, was Gymnastics Australia’s CEO from 1997 to 2010 alongside Karolyi-inspired Head Coach, Peggy Liddick (1996 to 2016). While there was arguably some initial success, it is sad to say that many would now describe Australia’s elite pathway as largely broken. In 2016, Australia failed to qualify a team for the Olympics for the first time in 30 years. There simply isn’t the quantity of children/parents able or willing to endure the abuse thought necessary to achieve success. Not enough are surviving the process. #GymnastAllianceAus

While we may feel that British Gymnastics is more successful, it is stark how few athletes we have at the top level and how fragile the top tier appears to be. British Gymnastics has approximately 360,000 members (approximately 100,000 more than Gymnastics Australia) and according to independent research there are an astonishing 1.1 million people participating in gymnastics each month. How is it then that we are left with so few at the top? The attrition rate in gymnastics is eyewatering. The true gym fans among you will be able to remember just too many young gymnasts, British champions among them, many touted as future Olympic hopes, who have been lost, like so much chaff, over the years. When will we have the open and honest conversation to decide whether the toll, thousands of children left with potentially lifelong physical and emotional damage, is worth the “success”?

The saddest thing of all is that this simply isn’t necessary. The hard work and dedication are (although not at such a young age as now), but the abuse and brutality are not. We can have success another way.

The first thing to understand is that no matter how many times you hear it asserted, there just isn’t a ‘fine line’ between “tough” coaching and abuse. The idea that positive and abusive coaching are two ends of the same continuum is entirely false. Proponents of this idea are often those who pride themselves on their skill at staying just the right side, they say, of the abuse line, almost as if they were performing a high-wire act between the two. Inevitably they will see themselves as better than another coach whom they might label as abusive. Are they right? It depends. Can the man who beats his wife only a few times a week consider himself better that the neighbour who beats his wife every day?

Those coaches who claim that their success is due to their skill at remaining just the ‘right’ side are simply drawing their own line in the sand as to how much of what we would call abuse they deem necessary to achieve their goals.

Consider an example given by sports psychologist Misia Gervis in the Telegraph recently. She explained:

“I had a masters student who did her research working with a gymnastics coach over a period of a couple of months, trying to retrain and re-educate her,” … “Mid-way through the programme, what was so sad was the coach said, ‘I now understand what I shouldn’t say, but I don’t know what I should say’.

As you can see, when you strip away the abuse you are left with nothing. You are not moving closer to positive coaching; you are left with nothing. Positive coaching involves a completely different mindset, one that actively builds the mental strength of the athlete and values their long-term health and welfare.  Positive coaching is also tough and exacting, it must be to achieve world-class success, but it never becomes abusive. Unfortunately, abuse has become so normalised in gymnastics that many within BG seem no longer able to recognise it for what it is. Their understanding is so distorted that they look upon a docile, compliant young gymnast doing whatever is demanded of his or her coach, no matter how painful or frightening, as a ‘beautiful relationship’.

Gervis explained further:

“What that (the example above) shows me is that when behaviour is normalised, when you have lived it and it is reinforced constantly, who is teaching you a different way to do it? Coaches have to understand the emotional impact and the psychological vulnerability they create by constantly humiliating people or ignoring them.”

As reporter Molly McElwee explains:

Gervis says for this cultural shift to happen, coaches at the top level must be the first to receive a “re-education”, including how to develop positive gymnast-coach relationships and understanding the perils of things like forced physical exertion, where gymnasts are punished through extreme physical activity.

“If I was in charge, I would mandate all of those elite coaches first of all go on a positive coaching and relearning course. I’d start there, because they’re often the coaches coaching the next generation of coaches. You look around the people who are the pillars of the sport, the experts, they can’t teach that because they don’t know it. The people who are in it, they replicate [behaviours] and nobody is challenging that, because they want the medals. And at what price? The price we’re paying is these damaged kids, and for some of them that will be long-lasting.”

We have a long way to go before this is achieved but let’s start by having an open and honest discussion. Why is it that we (or the NGB that we should be able to trust) accept abuse in gymnastics that was outlawed in our schools decades ago? This must change. Let us imagine a future where the talent we are now losing is retained and developed to its full potential. It takes both genetics and good coaching to make a great athlete, they are both born AND made. So, just think what we might achieve if we truly nurtured what nature provided…