By: Karen

Karen — Sat, 08 Aug 2020 22:09:14 +0000

Great to see this researched and I’d love to add my thoughts ….
Is Tough Coaching OK ? Possibly. But what is Tough Coaching ? Please read my view on it –
Tough coaching doesn’t mean it is abusive , but I have come to realise that actually, Yes it possibly is. It is usually negative and is the Mentally abusive type. And it is that category that definitely has a fine line to it. Physical and Sexual abuse is easier to define … but hitting the mind …. Many can take it in way deeper and keep it there way longer.
I used to think of myself as a good coach. I coached at a Elite level, and on a normal day I’d call out to a group of 6 kids – ‘Straighten your legs’ ‘ pull your arms up’ ‘stand tall’ ‘jump harder’ ‘point your toes’. Does any of that sound abusive ? No, not really, but amongst this quick fire coaching, was I giving any praise? Was I telling any of the kids that their work was good? And if I continued that through the session, could any of them go home feeling great about what they’d achieved ? My gymnasts haven’t yet complained to me, but maybe they could.
I grew up believing that we could only learn to be better if we were told what was wrong. After gymnastics, I worked in the business world and hated reviews where I was told ‘yes, you’re doing good, keep it up’ !!! How was I going to get better from that?! But then I was conditioned to only accept criticism. I have however, never felt confident about anything I did, never felt really successful, never proud of my achievements, always felt a failure, 40 years after retiring from Elite gymnastics. So did I think I was bullied and abused – NO … but could it be as a result of ‘Tough negative coaching’ ? I used to think I was alone and different, but I have recently found out from talking to so many retired athletes, that …. I AM NOT ALONE!
So from ‘straighten your legs’ to ‘ you still have bent legs’ to ‘you never straighten your legs’ to ‘why do I bother, you never listen’ ‘get off the apparatus and come back when you’re ready to listen’ ‘now do it right or else …. ‘ …. It is all negative with not a positive word of encouragement and has moved into demeaning. Listening to a coach shout these comments day in day out is unlikely to make a confident, happy, creative gymnast.. just a little robot who fears and has to listen to their coach. And the language and controlling gets stronger and stronger, with more tears and injuries, until they (or their parent) can take it no longer and complains . The coach can/will defend their actions and often punish the gymnast for complaining to the parent, but to be taken seriously, the parent has to accept the repercussions and complain higher up. With the comments I’ve used – who’s going to take a complaint to a serious offences board?
I’m not complaining about the way I was coached – it was seen as the way to do it and I continued to coach as I did until I decided I didn’t like to. Then returning to Elite in recent years at a different club and seeing it is still the same, made me see that it is wrong and has to change.
The whole working model of coaching to make top Elite gymnasts, up to now, has been predominantly negative and often very toxic. If you think I’m wrong, please show me. But it is why I believe gymnasts Globally are now coming out and complaining. It has gone too far for too long and causing too much mental damage along with the physical damage.
It is time to change it to positive. Encouragement with toughness is the better US college model and where we should be heading. How many gymnasts actually reach the pinnacle of getting to the Olympics? Over the last 50 years – 48 !!!! That is one per year from all the girls that are pushed, goaded, demeaned, made to regular cry, get injured, on their path to be the best their coach can make them. Of course to succeed, you must work hard, but does it have to be a horrible journey too?
BG recognises this and all elite coaches have to take the 1 ½ hr online Positive Coaching Module as CPD. They have ticked that box. But how far have they gone to ensure that coaches take it in, understand it, utilise it ? NOWHERE, because BG has no process to do that. It is all self governing. It has always been …. How far can a coach take it !!
Coaches need to engage and take on positive coaching with positive sandwiches and 5 – 1 encouragement comments, to see a nicer, happier environment. Happier and healthier kids who also become better adults and are more likely to want to be the best they can rather than the best that the coach can push them into (if they survive!)
PLEASE Learn, change and GO POSITIVE. #timetochange #gymnastalliance
I want to help the change.

Comments on: The ‘Fine Line’ Between Tough Coaching and Abuse

By: Karen